You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
