I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
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I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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