You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
