We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
