just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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