I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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