It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize