Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
