I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
