Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
