I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
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Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
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I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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