My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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