Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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