Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
