you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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