I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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