How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
