and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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