well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
