i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
