Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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