just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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