even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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