Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
