I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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