Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
