As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
