therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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