you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
