It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
