They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
