I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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