I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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