weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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