wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
