just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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