My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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