You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize