Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
