I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
they're like a gay fantastic four
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.