I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.