so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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