please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
