So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
