I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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