Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize