i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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