wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
