There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
