so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
