with your own penis?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
