so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
