Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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