I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
