bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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