My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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