I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
