Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
