is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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