Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
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Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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